What are the 5 languages of love? I asked myself the same question when I stumbled across a quiz by the same name by chance. I did some research to find out more, if you’re interested in the 5 love languages too, then read on:
What this quiz aims to explore are the 5 “love languages”. These five languages were defined by the American couples and relationship counselor Gary Chapman and, according to Chapman, they form the five basic ways people in relationships experience love and show or give it back to their partner.
What are the 5 Love Languages?
Think about it: Does your boyfriend or girlfriend always enjoy giving you little gifts and does he or she always try extremely hard to find the perfect gift for birthdays or other holidays? Or is your partner not very fond of gifts, but is very concerned that you spend enough time together?
These are all aspects of the five languages of love. To be precise, these are the exact names of the 5 languages of love:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
At first glance, the five points all seem like things that should be present and important in a relationship. And that is also the case! But not every person experiences each of them in the same way and not every person needs all five equally to feel loved. Here lies the difference.
How do the 5 love languages help in a relationship?
Once you have understood which of these five languages are most important to you personally and which to your partner, you will soon be able to respond much better to each other. Suddenly it becomes clear why it always bothers your partner that you keep shortening or postponing your time for togetherness. Or why your partner withdraws when they feel like they are receiving too little tenderness.
Once you have recognized these misunderstandings, it gets a lot easier to understand the other and to meet them halfway. These misunderstandings no longer have to be the basis for relationship problems, because now you know what your partner actually means and actually needs!
So let’s take a look at the five languages of love in detail…
The 5 Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
This relationship language is defined, as the name suggests, by giving praise in everyday life. People who speak this love language are very grateful for being praised for all sorts of things, whether it was just a small favour or a major personal success.
Compliments and praise from people speaking this love language never seem dishonest, because they always come from the heart and are natural to them. Because that’s how they show their gratitude, respect and love for the person receiving the praise.
For people speaking this love language a lot of time together is very important. They show their love through their undivided attention and the time they take to spend undisturbed Quality Time with their partner. Romantic candlelight dinners for just the two of you, a weekend trip to go hiking in nature, long conversations or a massage after a long day are all ways in which this love language expresses itself.
Above all, they appreciate the conscious interaction and time spent with each other and see this as the greatest proof of love.
This love language is not only about sexual touch, but also a lot about physical attention in everyday life. For people speaking this love language, touch is important: hugs, holding hands, caressing or even an arm around the waist or shoulders makes a big difference.
Exchanging tenderness is important for these people to be sure of the love of the other person and also their preferred way of showing their own love. Of course, they do not constantly grope their partner in public in a completely inappropriate way, but usually find subtle and unique ways to bring this tenderness into everyday life.
A partner who gives many – or expensive – gifts is often viewed somewhat sceptically. They are accused of wanting to buy love – but this isn’t always the case. Many people show their love through this language by giving small or large gifts to their loved ones.
It does not always have to be a new watch, a car or 1000 roses. It can be small things that just remind the loved one they were thinking of them. It is important to be aware: For these people, giving gifts is something completely natural and they have no ulterior motives or expect something in return for every gift!
In return, they are much happier about personal gifts that have been carefully chosen and that fit them well. Just the way they do it.
Acts of Service
The last language of love shows itself through a great willingness to come to the aid of the other or to provide a service. They always ask whether they can do something good for their partner or take something off their shoulders. Helping comes natural for them in every situation and they are happy to do it because it’s how they show you they appreciate you. Here too, it is important to be aware that these people have no expectations of getting something in return when they offer their help.
Of course they also appreciate small and large gestures of generosity, but they rarely do anything in the expectation of getting something in return.
These are the basis of the five languages of love. If you want to find out which is your or your partner’s language, I suggest you take this short quiz: Learn Your Love Language
Mine are Acts of Service and Quality Time. Let me know your results in the comments! 😊
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Header: Caleb Ekeroth // Unsplash